First off, you cannot explain your pain to yourself or your girlfriends as they’ll remind you that “he was not your boyfriend or the love of your life after all”… so you suffer alone. And ice cream is just not a strong enough cure for the death of a friend who you willingly allowed to take permanent residence in your heart— you never thought to have your guard up like you would with a boy friend so you ended up giving him free access to your core. When it came to your heart and emotions; the person you went to for everything, your emotional soundboard, the one you felt understood you most and vice versa, was also the most conniving and deceitful person you ever had the misfortune of meeting. Your friendship was a sham. However any misbehavior on your end towards him because of his conniving ways will be viewed as you "caring" a little too much. You will probably end up in trouble with your significant other. And, I know this doesn't sound fair... Lord knows, if I for some reason found out that my best girlfriend of seven years pretended to be friends with me just because of something I could give her, you could be sure a cat fight would ensue. To add insult to injury, although you might have had sexual relations with him, you were just "friends" so you don’t even have the rights a wounded girlfriend has to demand closure nor can you curse him out over drinks in a seedy pool bar—because you never “dated”!
On the other hand, when you and a girlfriend part ways, you usually see the warning signs. You have a huge fight; you decide never to speak to each other at that moment. Or when you get to a certain age and have that huge fight, you behave maturely, call to apologize after the fight and maybe decide to break the friendship off as it stands. When you break up with a girl friend, you are allowed to cry to your significant other and other friends. You are allowed to mourn and heal. With men “besties”, you just have to slither away and milk your wounds in private. And for that, ma chérie d'amour, I’m truly sorry.”