Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A letter to my future 30 year-old self...

Dear Self,
Are 30s really the new 20s? (Yes... I know the Book of the Latter Day Girlfriends  states that it is-- but I am still questioning; it was... after all... signed with a Cosmopolitan). And if it is, is that a good thing? As I am not one to rain on anyone's parade, especially ours, I'll just give you one reason why women of a certain age should take a significant pause when they find themselves at a Vegas night club, albeit with a bigger checkbook, reliving their 21st birthday when the clock strikes 30:

When you feel the need to go back a decade in life, you are clearly not where you want to be and no amount of Bouncer yeses can erase that feeling of dissatisfaction.  So instead, buckle up, go to a 30 something restaurant where the waiters are stifled with bow ties, laugh with your girlfriends , get home early like an adult and then whip out the "ol' book of dreams". At this point, my dear, start working on yet another plan to lighten the pages-- the wisdom you have gained with age will definitely make this exercise more revealing.  As a plus, you will be glad when you wake up the next morning without a hang over or aches all over your body from trying to "back that ass up".

PS: start planning on having a child or adopting one with a friend.  If you are blessed enough to live till the nursing home age, you will need a child that is mature enough (40+) to feel the magnitude of guilt needed to help you escape the fate of cafeteria food.  Truthfully, you are probably better off praying for the Rapture, I have a feeling that a high ROI ratio (return on investment) on children isn't something you are going to be lucky enough to rely on .

Until next year, XOXO  
Ava @ 29


  1. A very good assessment of the "new" decades/ages. I for one don't really want to relive my 20s but I wouldn't mind having a fun 30s with maybe a little more sophistication. Lord knows shaking my booty at 30 is so not the same as when I did it at 20. LOL

  2. Hey, I love my 30s. And for my thirtieth birthday I did go out to a nice dinner with friends, then I went to my favorite (no longer in existence) Skybar. We danced a little, Vero picked up men right and left, had a few drinks and then split ways. I found myself playing pool at a gay bar until 2 am. I guess it was still a bit lower key then some of my crazy nights. I certainly wasn't blacking out in the back of a limo or rubbing up on a nasty bouncer to get into Coyote Ugly (real name is Hogs and Heifers, so imagine what the bouncer looked like). Anyways, take it from an "older friend", have fun just take breaks and stay hydrated, lol.

  3. LOL......luv it luv it luv it,very funny indeed!!!!