Thursday, January 6, 2011

2011 Fashion Resolutions

It is the first of the year and as others are making impossible heartfelt resolutions, I decided to take the easier route and give unwanted advice on one of life’s most fascinating yet frivolous escapes-fashion.  Women of the world, for the year 2011, I urge you to repeat after moi, “the following are items I would never, ever, ever wear in public”:

  1. Uggs-I understand they are comfortable but comfort should not equal showing up in public with a foot snuggie.  Put on a pair of loafers for Christ’s sake.
  2. Crocs-see above discussion.
  3. Velour track suits (especially ones with writings written across the derriere) - The days of “Jenny from the block” is long gone, and just because Wal-Mart has ghetto tendencies does not mean you should clothe yourself like a Boston, trailer-park, crack head in order to visit.
  4. Anything from Ed Hardy.
  5. Synthetic weave-there is an abundance of human hair on the market, make the investment. There is no need to look like you raped a horse for its hair when there are better affordable options.
  6. Bedazzled jeans-“all that shines is not gold” or in this case diamonds.
  7. Lipstick that does not belong in the red and brown family, your face is not a canvas for ROYGBIV.
  8. Acrylic nails-No, Rihanna; it is not going to catch on.
  9. Hammer pants- I just have not seen it flatter anyone. Can it be because it looks like one has feces in their pants when worn?
  10. Monogram bags that are not LV-Since the monogram was Louis Vuitton’s invention, the brand gets a pass; however, refrain from spending good money on a Coach monogram bag, aka- the poor man’s Louis. I call for death of the faux monogram bags.
Honorable mention-Rubber soled flip flop wedges; I do not understand the concept-as a matter fact, I might give all wedges the boot in 2012 (2011 is too soon for me to let them go). The concept of height without sexiness is still one I am mulling over.


  1. hahahahaha,i so HEART U,u r hilarious...

  2. hahaha..i was like, i am doing good, until guilty..will you forgive me?haha

  3. ...I don't know about #1 in NYC (particularly this winter with the multiple snow storms) - one cannot really muster the courage to step out in the snow in "a pair of loafers for Christ's sake"! On the other hand, there's no justification for wearing UGGs in Houston - EVER.

  4. Well, can one not wear rain boots for the snow? There are also numerous lovely boots this season (thigh highs, knee length, booties), why resort to Uggs!?!?!??!??
    I agree with Ava, uggs are for home and backyards